About Agata Remi

I’m Agata Remi, author of Why Am I the Way I Am? — The Hidden Costs of Stress. I write about stress, self-understanding, and relationships, exploring how our experiences shape the way we feel, think, and respond to others.

My writing begins with questions that are both personal and familiar: Why do certain conversations stay with us for hours? Why do we agree when we want to say no? And why can resting feel so difficult, even when we are exhausted?

My Background: Language, Learning, and Understanding

I hold degrees in Business English and English Philology and have spent more than twenty years teaching English to people of different ages and backgrounds.

Teaching has meant listening, explaining complex ideas, and recognising that the same approach does not work for everyone. These experiences influence my writing: I want to make research understandable while respecting the complexity of each person’s life.

My professional background also includes work in automotive logistics and HR support. Alongside my interest in language and communication, I have continued exploring the connections between stress, emotions, behaviour, and physical well-being.

Why I Write About the Hidden Costs of Stress

My interest in these subjects grew from trying to understand my own sensitivity, emotional responses, and ways of coping. Over time, my husband’s experiences of burnout, depression, and post-COVID complications brought these questions into our everyday lives.

Illness changed our routines, expectations, and plans. It also challenged us to learn more about our needs, our limitations, and what it means to give and receive care.

Personal experience prompted my questions; research helped me explore them more deeply. You can read more in the story behind my writing.

Books by Agata Remi

My books explore different aspects of understanding ourselves and living alongside others.

Why Am I the Way I Am? — The Hidden Costs of Stress examines how temperament, sensitivity, childhood experiences, and relationships can shape our reactions. It explores the patterns that once helped us cope but may later make it harder to rest, set boundaries, or make our own choices.

I’m Me. You’re You. turns towards relationships: how we can remain close while respecting each other’s individuality, boundaries, and responsibility. It explores communication, repair after hurt, and the possibility of feeling safe without needing to be perfect.

My developing third book explores human weaknesses, the gap between intentions and choices, and questions of emotional awareness and responsibility.

Explore my books and their themes.

My Approach to Writing

I bring together psychological and neurobiological research, findings from stress studies, and recognisable everyday situations. My work draws on scientific studies, systematic reviews, and meta-analyses, with explanations intended for readers without an academic background.

I distinguish personal experience from research evidence. A lived experience can raise an important question, but it cannot explain everyone’s story.

My aim is to help readers become more curious about their reactions, recognise their needs, and consider what they might want to change.

Understanding Ourselves, Making Room for Others

A question runs through all my writing: How can we understand ourselves more clearly while making room for another person’s needs and boundaries?

For me, self-understanding is an ongoing process. It involves noticing familiar patterns, questioning old expectations, and learning that closeness can include both care for others and respect for ourselves.

Understanding who we are can be the beginning of discovering who we can still become.